Living creatively, love of photography, and passionate living.

Can You Eat Out Alone?

Alone and lonely.  These are two words that might sound the same to some people, because they think of them both in the same negative way.  But they are not the same.  Most people conjure up sad images of someone who is “alone,” and think of such words as cold, isolation, despair, or misery. 

People are alone for a variety of reasons — some by choice, some by chance.  And while I am sure that it is depressing to some to be alone, it doesn’t mean it is that way for everyone who finds themselves eating their dinner alone at night.  I have some friends who I know would never go out to eat a meal alone.  They find it sad and depressing and are embarrassed, for some reason, to eat alone.  I, on the other hand, love it. It makes me feel independent and capable.  I don’t  need a book (but it’s okay if you do or you just like to read while dining), but sometimes I will take a magazine.  I prefer to use that time to think about myself and what it is I am wanting to accomplish next or any little project I have going on or just watch other people and couples.  Sometimes, I just sit and completely enjoy my meal.  And anyone that’s been a mother for any length of time knows what a treat that is in itself!

The other day I had errands to run and it’s been so cold and we’ve had such bad weather for a while that we’ve been shut-ins for a bit.  Everyone was back at school and I was alone.  I thought how nice it would be to just sit alone with a cup of hot chocolate and my favorite doughnut (cherry cordial) at the donut place down the street.  I grabbed a magazine, some pen and paper, and my camera and headed that way. 

The girl at the counter asked me if it was for here or to go, and I proudly said, “Here!”  Then she asked if I wanted whipped cream, and with a big smile on my face I said, “Yes!”  I got my treats and headed for a table in the main room.  There was one customer with his laptop near the back, so I chose a booth facing the window where there was some light to read by.

I sat there and flipped through my magazine, reading an article and looking up now and then at people occasionally walking by.  I was so happy to have time to myself outside of my home, to just enjoy being alone and independent.  I’m not scared to be alone — unless it’s dark, but that’s a whole different thing.  I’m not sad to be alone because I have good friends and family that I see and talk to when I can, want to, or feel the need.  I feel peace when I can enjoy being with myself doing what I want or just relaxing or taking some time for slowing down and remembering the important things in life that matter.

I think everyone needs to learn how to be alone at some point in their lives.  I definitely think all young people need to learn how to live alone before they live with or marry anyone.  It gives you a chance to really get to know yourself and what it is you want out of your own life so you can feel solid in your decisions later in life. 

I’ve been in a relationship before (a past marriage) where I felt so lonely toward the end of it.  I remember the feeling and know I never want to feel that way again.  I could not imagine how anyone could be living with someone and, yet, feel so lonely.  I can honestly say, while there have been times since I’ve been single now and then that I wished I had someone to go out with or just spend some time with, I have never felt lonely the same way I did when I was married when things were at their worst.  That’s a horrible feeling and one I like to make the distinction between when I talk to my kids about being alone.

Lonely has its degrees of lonesomeness, and a little bit lonely is bearable.  But feeling totally alone (especially while in a relationship) is not something to be tolerated.  And while I’m certain my experience with loneliness never reached the depression stage, I can see how that could quickly happen if one was susceptible to that condition.  

Maybe I like being alone and feel okay with it because I have so many hobbies and things I want to do.  I love learning anything new and will seek out information anywhere I can to obtain a new skill.  I think it’s important for couples to be able to be alone in the same house even.  Just knowing the other person is nearby in another room enjoying their alone time with a hobby or the T.V. is comforting to me.  I don’t need them anchored around my neck to feel close. 

So, learn to be alone and be okay with it.  Learn to enjoy your time with yourself and contemplating the things in your life that matter.  Use your time alone to relax and recharge.  Spend some time alone doing something you love and can do alone, like a favorite hobby or reading a book.  Being alone is great and is okay and is not a bad thing.  Being alone can be a good way to get to really know your own self and to think about an important decision you need to make.  The ability to be alone with yourself speaks about how comfortable you are with yourself.  Do you like yourself enough to spend some time with “you?”  I do.

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334 responses

  1. i think an interesting story to learn many things other exellent thanks for sharing these wonderful images

    January 25, 2011 at 9:24 am

    • Thank you for reading.

      January 25, 2011 at 9:27 am

    • Kristin Lee

      I agree that we all need to learn to be alone at some point in our lives. It is essential to figuring out who we really are. While eating alone is not my cup of tea it is a fear I had to conqure. It was liberating, freeing, and empowering to face that fear. And it was even more empowering to acknowledge, that while I didn’t particularly enjoy it, I overcame the fear that had previously prevented me from doing so. Embrace life, its meant to be lived.

      January 25, 2011 at 11:55 pm

      • I feel grateful that I can enjoy being alone and do things like eat alone — whether by choice or not. Escpecially after reading about so many people that have not overcome that fear like you did. It seems like such a small thing, something we can just simply choose not to do, but why would you allow yourself to be limited in what you will do and won’t do because of fear of what others might think (wrongly) of you? I would miss out on so much if I always had to wait around for someone to be available for me to go with someplace I really wanted to attend. Thank you so much for your wonderful comment.

        January 26, 2011 at 12:12 am

    • Novieslondon

      Alone make you strong…(wise man said)
      4 Bedroom villa Seminyak/Bali Villas/Villas in Bali

      January 26, 2011 at 6:36 am

      • I agree. Thanks for commenting.

        January 26, 2011 at 9:12 am

  2. I am learning to enjoy being alone. In my first few years of marriage, I had moments of feeling really alone, but I also learned that it wasn’t my husband, or my marriage … it was me. Overall, I am glad I went through those times to become a person who is confident enough to do things alone …

    January 25, 2011 at 9:27 am

    • Thank you for sharing and being honest. It really is a part of growing up and getting to know ourselves and being comforatable with ourselves, isn’t it?

      January 25, 2011 at 9:33 am

  3. I go out to dinner alone all the time. My husband works a lot and my friends are busy with their own lives, so if I want to enjoy a night out I feel perfectly comfortable going out alone. When I was 20-21 I lived in Paris and studied at La Sorbonne. Being on my own in another country made me comfortable to be independent no matter what the circumstance.
    Recently I spent a month in Paris alone and had a blast.

    January 25, 2011 at 9:34 am

    • You are probably having a great time in your life and don’t have to worry about missing out on anything because of your independence. Good for you!

      January 25, 2011 at 9:36 am

  4. Great post!

    I love to eat out alone: people watching in restaurants is amazing. I’m the type who makes up stories, tries to deduce relationships, etc.

    The only trouble I have with the process: figuring out how to not stare too long. Cuz that’s just plain creepy…

    😉

    January 25, 2011 at 9:34 am

    • I like watching the way people interact with each other. It gives me an idea of what their realtionship might be like and what type of people they are. Maybe that comes from reading so much and having a good imagination.

      January 25, 2011 at 10:33 am

  5. I agree – as an only child I am comfortable being alone as I’m so used to it! I love getting lost in a book or film or writing and having time to think and dream.
    I am single but I think if I was in a couple I would still crave and give myself that alone time. Sometimes you just need to be with yourself!

    January 25, 2011 at 9:39 am

    • So, true! I come from a big family — 7 sisters and 2 brothers. Maybe that is also part of why I treasure my alone time so much!

      January 25, 2011 at 9:45 am

  6. Great post – very insightful!

    I eat out alone nearly everyday, for many of the same reasons you mentioned. I also find that I can be incredibly productive working in a cafe (unless it’s insanely busy). The background noises aren’t distracting but they make me feel as though I’m not really WORKING, but just enjoying some time to myself. So much more comfortable than a dead-silent office.

    January 25, 2011 at 9:39 am

    • Agreed. Sometimes it’s just nice to get a different surrounding to be productive. Thanks for stopping by!

      January 25, 2011 at 9:47 am

  7. After thirty years of marriage, my wife died two and a half years ago. She had a rare form of bone cancer, and a drastic surgery to slow it down for a few years went horribly wrong, a surgical stroke left her paralyzed for three years. Thoughout that time I managed her home care 24/7. THAT was Lonely (Capital L)… despite her survival, the pain from the stroke damage meant lots of pain meds, and she was sedated twenty hours a day.
    Although I’m in a new relationship this last year, circumstances have left us living 4 hours apart for a while. This can be lonely (small l) at times, but we’re in skype every night together and we chat all through the day by phone.
    Getting used to eating alone, both at home and when going out has been tough… but it is doable. I find the key is to develop my people watching skills and enjoy watching others from a different perspective than I used to do. Rarely do I bring anything to read or keep busy, just learning to be more mindful and in the moment keeps me plenty occupied!

    January 25, 2011 at 9:46 am

    • Bless you, dear sir. You have certainly learned through much experience the different degrees of lonely and alone. I wish you much happiness in the future. And you are right, people watching keeps a person plenty occupied!

      January 25, 2011 at 9:55 am

  8. Excellent post. It sums up something I’ve felt and known for quite a few years now: that I love being by myself and doing things alone!

    It’s not only about meals – I also go for movies alone, and not once have I felt lonely!

    January 25, 2011 at 9:50 am

    • I have never been to a movie alone, but I have thought about it a few times. I think I would be okay with it, though.
      Thanks for commenting!

      January 25, 2011 at 9:57 am

  9. J Roycroft

    I used to eat out alone, then I met my wife.
    Congrats on FP

    January 25, 2011 at 9:51 am

    • How lucky you are that she is always available for you.
      Thanks for stopping by.

      January 25, 2011 at 9:58 am

  10. J

    I am comforable being alone i think it brings clarity. Great post. http://www.copperetiquette.wordpress.com

    January 25, 2011 at 9:52 am

    • YOU TOTALLY GET IT! Thank you for commenting. Please, come back anytime.

      January 25, 2011 at 10:00 am

  11. Oh yeah. I’ve eaten alone once or twice. As a person. I’m more of alone than lonely….nice post by the way. And congrats on being freshly pressed.

    January 25, 2011 at 9:57 am

    • Good for you! Thank you for reading.

      January 25, 2011 at 10:01 am

  12. bluecloverbelle

    Great blog, i know what you mean. I am quite an independent person, and i’m happy to go a to coffee shop and sit alone with my hot choc and a cake and just read or write. I do often feel lonely sitting there, especially if everyone else isnt, but its nice to not have to talk and just relax. I don;t think i could go out to somewhere more formal like a restaurant for an evening meal alone, i would feel too self-conscious!
    I choose to be alone a lot, but obviously being forced to be alone is far worse a feeling.

    January 25, 2011 at 10:01 am

    • I guess I never really had a problem with it because when I was young, I felt it was a sign of independence to be able to pay for my own meal at a restaurant. And that made me feel very good about myself.
      Thanks you for stopping and reading.

      January 25, 2011 at 10:05 am

  13. Wonderful comments. I used to be extremely shy and was afraid to eat out by myself. I challenged myself with the goal of one day being able to eat out alone, and ENJOY it! I now can do that. I have often thought that one can feel more alone in a crowd than when one is actually alone. I enjoy sitting alone with my thoughts or a good book, sometimes the newspaper. A couple of weeks ago I went for a cup of coffee at a local coffee shop on the waterfront where I live. I enjoyed so much sitting in a comfy chair, with a book on my lap, but looking up frequently to enjoy the wonderful scene of the beach, the islands across the bay, sailing boats, and the snow capped mountains in the distance. If I had been with a friend, I would have been preoccupied with our conversation. Alone is ok.

    January 25, 2011 at 10:01 am

    • Yes. I agree with how a person can feel more alone in a crowd than actually alone. I love your comment. Thank you for stopping by.

      January 25, 2011 at 10:16 am

  14. Mmm…. hot chocolate. That looks tasty!

    January 25, 2011 at 10:02 am

  15. Donna

    What a wonderful post! This has come up not only for myself but a lot of friends lately. We’ve all discovered in our own ways that alone is ok. I used to hate the hought of dining out by myself. But then I tried it and I love it. I usually take a book or something I am working on. It gives me a great chance to concentrate.

    Congrats on Fresh Pressed!

    January 25, 2011 at 10:05 am

    • Alone is VERY “ok!” And sometimes, very needed, too. Thanks for stopping and reading.

      January 25, 2011 at 10:18 am

  16. Great points…great post! I hope this message can be spread far and wide. Especially among young women.

    I eat out alone about once a week and I love going to the movies by myself too. I can laugh as loudly and dorkily as I want and I don’t have to feel embarrassed when cheesy moments make me cry.

    Great message, thanks for sharing.

    Crystal
    http://www.crystalspins.com

    January 25, 2011 at 10:09 am

    • I definitely teach this to both of my children — a daughter and a son. Because I don’t want them to be involved in a relationship just because they don’t want or can’t be alone with themselves. I think this is what you mean, too.

      I think you have made an excellent point to why I would enjoy going to a movie alone — can cry in peace without those annoying arm pats from your date! Geez! If I want to cry, just let me! It’s part of the enjoyment of the movie for me.

      January 25, 2011 at 10:26 am

      • Lately, for me going to movies alone means I don’t have to be afraid that the gooby guy who insisted on a movie for a first date is going to try to hold my hand or touch me in any way.

        And I definitely think a person has to be happy with him or herself before her or she can be happy with someone else. I think your kids are lucky to have such a rad mom!

        January 25, 2011 at 1:28 pm

  17. Not only young people need to learn how to live alone … 🙂

    January 25, 2011 at 10:12 am

    • Of course, everyone should. I just meant before they get married. Thanks for reading.

      January 25, 2011 at 10:13 am

  18. Pingback: Can You Eat Out Alone? » Wordpress-actu

  19. shininglikeadiamond

    Great post! I developed a stubborn independent streak at a fairly early age so I’m confortable spending time with only myslef. I often eat out alone, funnily enough I’ve never viewed it as lonely though – just me on my own – cafes are a great place for inspiration and getting things written!I agree that spending time with only yourself when young is important – getting to know who you are is essential, it helps develop a sense of identity.

    January 25, 2011 at 10:14 am

    • No, I don’t view it as being lonely either. It’s always my choice and one I look forward to when I do choose to eat out alone. Thank you for reading.

      January 25, 2011 at 10:29 am

  20. Gee

    Great post! I like eating alone, I relish the time when I have the chance to do so. I feel I enjoy the meal a bit more as it allows me to experience the taste without having to be in a conversation with other people. Sometimes I bring something to read, other times I people watch or play Scrabble on my phone. You’re right though, it is good contemplation time. No one should be embarrassed to eat alone I say. Thanks for sharing!

    January 25, 2011 at 10:17 am

    • You are so right, no one should be embarrassed. And I like not having to talk so I can concentrate on the food, too! Thank you so much for commenting!

      January 25, 2011 at 10:43 am

  21. What a nice post. You are a good thinker.

    I have no problem in being alone. Infact, I like it. Eating out alone is not a problem, but I have never been out to watch a movie alone. I have watched at home, but never at a theatre.

    January 25, 2011 at 10:21 am

    • And having time to think is exactly why I enjoy my alone time! Well, I have never been out to watch a movie alone either, but have often thought about it. I know one person who even goes to music concerts alone! Now that’s independent!

      January 25, 2011 at 10:31 am

    • “I have watched at home,”

      LOL

      January 25, 2011 at 11:44 am

  22. ozarkmomma

    What an insightful post. I like to be alone but have this self conscious fear of being alone in public in places like a restaurant, movie theater. Coffee shops, book stores and parks are a breeze.
    This post has inspired me to work on that. To just sit and enjoy me being me.

    You now have a new subscriber!

    January 25, 2011 at 10:36 am

    • Yes, I don’t know why but my friend has the same fear. Sometimes, you have no choice to eat alone if you’re out running errands and you’re hungry. I suppose you could go through the drive thru of a fast food place, but why not treat yourself to some special time for just you? It doesn’t have to be an expensive meal, just a nice, decent place with good food. You deserve that. Good luck with you goal! Thanks for reading and subscribing, too!

      January 25, 2011 at 10:47 am

  23. I just LOVE eating alone. It allows me to absorb the whole experience by myself without having to engage in conversation or any kind of interaction whatsoever. If it is at a restaurant I know well I enjoy having a book with me to read while I eat. If I’m at a new restaurant I like to observe what the architecture and decoration are like and how do they blend with the kind of restaurant. I analyze the menu and so on. It allows me to really appreciate the restaurant and that allows me to recommend it with full detail later on, people think I have this great insight about restaurants but I don’t, I just observe them! a thing I cannot really do if I have someone yacking with me.

    January 25, 2011 at 10:41 am

    • You’ve inpired me to go to new restaurants! You make it sound so appealing to get the whole experience of not just your meal, but of your surroundings, too! You are detail oriented like me. Thank you for reading.

      January 25, 2011 at 10:53 am

  24. Summer

    what u said is very true! i never really ate out alone, but it would be very hard to me i guess!

    January 25, 2011 at 10:53 am

    • I hope you will try sometime. Just think of it as a nice treat to yourself. You could just go for a sweet treat or something at first. Be confident!

      January 25, 2011 at 10:55 am

  25. I was married to my high school sweetheart for 14 years and never got to truly experience being alone until we divorced at the age of 37. Though I am not proud that our marriage ended, I sincerely believe that had I never gotten to experience being alone, I would have been missing out on something very big and important in life. Going out to eat alone, going to the movies by myself, hiking, wandering around downtown, shopping – I have come to enjoy all those activities, and more.

    January 25, 2011 at 10:59 am

    • I understand. It’s not that I’m saying people should choose to be alone, I’m just saying that it’s okay if you do, and that you should definitely be okay with being on your own. It’s important to know who you are, how you feel about things, what’s important to you, etc. For that you need quiet time alone now and then. Thanks for reading.

      January 25, 2011 at 11:06 am

  26. I’ve been a loner for a while in my life. I guess that happens again and again to me. When something really bad and intolerable happens in my life, I find it best to be left alone for a while. I turn myself off from the world, no phone calls, no IMing, no friends coming over to visit. I prefer this. It helps me get over whatever has happened, and helps me move on faster.
    I can eat out alone. Often in the morning, I go for my regular coffee at a Starbucks down the street. I’m usually alone there. Most of the time I carry a book with me, sometimes nothing, and sometimes my laptop. I find it a great feeling to be alone with nothing but you, your thoughts, and a mug of coffee.
    Often when I really need to talk to someone about something, I will. But I won’t spend too much time talking to them either. I will spend the time that I feel comfortable with. My friends know this and they have this unnatural ability to tell when I want to be left alone. Usually, they leave me alone for sometime when they sense this.
    Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!
    Ashley, aka TheEverydayMuser
    http://www.theeverydaymuser.wordpress.com

    January 25, 2011 at 11:09 am

    • It’s nice that your friends are sensitive to your need to have some space. I was a loner growing up, too. I still pretty much am. But, by choice. When I have the need for company, I have friends and family to turn to. Thanks for reading.

      January 25, 2011 at 11:17 am

  27. I’m very much into solitude. Somehow, I just enjoy being by myself. It’s perhaps the main reason I chose to remain single.

    And yes, I invariably dine alone, unless invited by friends or family.

    January 25, 2011 at 11:13 am

    • Solitude brings inner peace, doesn’t it? Thanks for reading.

      January 25, 2011 at 11:20 am

  28. Congrats on being freshly pressed and for such a good post. I think many of us can relate to this topic, especially as writers where the work tends to get done when we are alone.

    January 25, 2011 at 11:13 am

    • Thanks, lady! I hate being interrupted when I’m in the middle of writing my thoughts down. My children know this and will tip-toe in my room to ask something only if necessary. 🙂
      Did you get to watch the Social Network this past weekend? I still haven’t seen it. Maybe I will rent it this week and watch it “alone!”

      January 25, 2011 at 11:24 am

  29. A nice Freshly Pressed.

    I like eating alone. Peace and quiet, with a world to watch go by, and plenty of times to think and relax.

    Sure, having a nice dining companion is also pleasant, but I wouldn’t want that every time, nor even the majority of the time.

    January 25, 2011 at 11:25 am

    • Peace and quiet are two of my favorite things … ! Thank you for stopping by.

      January 25, 2011 at 11:30 am

  30. Wonderful insight. I love to eat out alone….I enjoy thinking quiet thoughts or watching others. Aloneness is often just a state of mind.

    January 25, 2011 at 11:30 am

    • I very much need to have my alone time. Once, I dated someone who was constantly at my side and I never knew I would NOT like that. But I felt like I couldn’t even breathe without this person right there. It wasn’t that I didn’t like being with them, but I also like just being by myself sometimes and really need that. Needless to say, it didn’t last long. But I was totally okay with that!

      January 25, 2011 at 11:36 am

  31. jimgilmore2010

    Don’t get me wrong, I like people–but my alone-time is crucial. I need it to get centered and focused which is much easier if I am not subjected to the drama of other’s life–for at least a few of hours a day.

    Congratulations on being freshly pressed.

    January 25, 2011 at 11:35 am

    • Amen! Thanks for commenting.

      January 25, 2011 at 11:38 am

  32. humanitarikim

    I love to eat alone, shop alone, and go watch movies alone. I have acquaintances that find it odd, though. I get so much more from the experience with no one to distract me.

    January 25, 2011 at 11:37 am

    • Shopping alone is something that I find works much better for me than if I have anyone else with me. I don’t feel like I have to rush so they won’t be bored, and I can take the time I want when I find somewhere that I really want to just browse.
      Although, I use to shop at Christmas time with a good friend when we were in our 20’s and we had a blast stopping to rest and people watch. I still people watch.

      January 25, 2011 at 11:43 am

  33. I enjoy being alone and having my own down-time. For example, my boyfriend works days, and I work nights… so we spend a lot of time apart. But, I enjoy our days off together. For some reason though, I cannot get over the insecurities of eating at a restaurant alone, or seeing a movie alone.

    January 25, 2011 at 11:41 am

    • Yea, I’m going to try and tackle that going to the movies thing alone, too. I’m not really insecure about it, I don’t think. But I’ve never done it. You could always pick a booth, that helps. You’d have the security of the back of the seat, anyway, where you could feel less like people are watching you. Honestly, if you look around, most people are busy talking, anyways, and don’t really notice you. Hold you head up and feel confident! Let them wonder about you and give them something good to wonder about!

      January 25, 2011 at 11:49 am

  34. I agree 110%. I long for alone time, and I get giddy at the thought of sitting alone in a coffee or sandwich shop and enjoying the peace. I don’t think I every really felt excited at the prospect before having kids, but I have definitely always been ok with hanging out by myself. I think that is because, like you, I have always had good friends and family to call or talk to when I felt I needed to.

    Now, with kids I covet my alone time! I love it!

    Denise
    http://www.bestparent.wordpress.com

    January 25, 2011 at 11:42 am

    • EXACTLY! Thanks for reading and commenting.

      January 25, 2011 at 11:50 am

  35. arksen

    nice!!! keep on.

    January 25, 2011 at 11:52 am

  36. Traci

    Nice post! I would also suggest for a next step in the “eating alone” process is traveling alone. There is a lot of apprehension at first that comes from our innate need to feel comfortable, but once you start traveling by yourself you will find it very freeing and exciting. Of course, it is amazing to travel with someone you love, but there is something to be said for doing and going wherever you want. Ironically, you will find many like you out there on your travels and you will find there are plenty of people to enjoy your meals with!

    January 25, 2011 at 11:56 am

    • This is something that I would definitely like to do! I have thought about it often. I have driven 6 hours away on my own before a couple of times. I was in my mid-twenties and wasn’t as fearful then of the the dangers of traveling alone, driving completely alone on the highway.
      I remember I had to hit a small deer or I would have caused a severe accident. It was a split second decision and I was so shook up. I pulled over the first chance I got and called my boyfriend. He calmed me down and told me what to do. I just took a break to get a grip and got back in my car to drive 2 1/2 hours more to get home. He washed my car for me so I wouldn’t freak out.

      Thanks for commenting.

      January 25, 2011 at 12:04 pm

    • I have done that and it’s absolutely amazing!!! People at work were shaking their heads when I told them I was going to Daytona Beach by myself but I picked the room I liked, had a king size bed all to myself, watched the sunset while eating a nice meal and I treated myself to a day at a spa. I had a really good time and it was one of the most relaxing times in my life.

      January 26, 2011 at 12:05 am

      • Wow, I am in awe of you! That is total independence and confidence! And you had a great time and rejuvinated and recharged. Thanks for your comment, Andrea.

        January 26, 2011 at 12:17 am

  37. I loved this post, thanks for sharing. I aspire to be more like you. I’m really working on enjoying being alone. It’s hard for me, as I’ve spent most of my adult life in a relationship. I almost got married to the guy, but then called off the wedding. This post talks about my struggle enjoy being alone (http://simplysolo.wordpress.com/2010/12/09/alone/). I think you’ve offered great advice here – my goal for the next two weeks is to go out to eat at least once by myself!

    January 25, 2011 at 12:10 pm

    • Catherine, you are going to be all right because you are being honest with yourself and taking a good look at your situation. You are taking steps to learn to be okay with being with yourself by setting a goal to eat out alone this week. It’s “one day at a time” and “baby steps,” honey. But you’ll get there. Look at it as a great time to discover who you are and what you really want in your life. And that’s not anything that has to be discovered in the next week. So, just let everything come to you naturally.

      I read your post and will be checking back to see how you do and comment. Thanks so much for stopping and reading. Be strong!

      January 25, 2011 at 12:28 pm

  38. fireandair

    A book or music score, a corner table, and a good meal is HEAVEN.

    January 25, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    • This … I know! Thanks for stopping by.

      January 25, 2011 at 12:29 pm

  39. Great post. Congrats for FP!

    I do not like to eat alone, but starting very early in the morning makes me unable to share it with someone else, therefore I am taking my breakfast alone.

    But after ending my job around 6 PM, without lunch-break, I enjoy my dinner with my friends, when it is possible. It is a way to recharge my soul and to be able to start a new hard working day.

    In fact, eating, alone or not, depends on your style and your wishing!You may adjust it, from time to time, and let people to surround you, when you need them, and the your life will be richer. Friends or hobbies may help you to pass the loneliness, but people, oh, how much I love them, in spite of differences and difficulties that arrived with them!

    Finally, we are social “animals”, we need to share, to communicate, as you are doing now.

    All the best,
    Mbconsulting

    January 25, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    • I love eating with my friends and family. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because of all the food I prepare and the time I spend at the table with my children talking, laughing, and eating. But I am also very much okay with the times I choose to eat alone because I want to. Even the times I don’t choose to eat alone but have no other choice. Because I am good with myself and comfortable enough with myself to enjoy it.

      Maybe you prefer to not eat alone, but I hope you can learn to be okay with it if you have to. Thank you for reading and commenting.

      January 25, 2011 at 12:51 pm

  40. Pingback: Can You Eat Out Alone? « Mbconsulting's Blog

  41. Daisy Dzedzej

    I used to look forward to riding the city bus or going on a greyhound trip, because I normally travel alone. I love the quiet time to think about things and observe all I come across. If some one is with me I general don’t get those opportunities and I don’t get to have a full experience due to distracts like conversations that tend to be meaningless. I’ve rarely gone to a restaurant alone, because I don’t really like eating out.

    January 25, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    • You’re still getting your alone time, though. Someone else commented earlier on traveling alone and I said I would love to do that. I think going by bus would be an excellent way to start! Thanks for reading.

      January 25, 2011 at 12:54 pm

  42. Dining alone is awesome. It allows you to sit and think and plan out your day. (Okay, generally the only time I dine out is breakfast, hence the planning out the day” point.)

    Plus, one of the only things that can destroy a great meal is some horrible company.

    Traveling alone is definitely the next step. It’s amazing how you’ll find yourself acting once you realize that you’re away from anyone that’s ever known you. You lose the inhibitions we carry around solely because the people who know us expect us to have them.

    January 25, 2011 at 12:50 pm

    • Funny! And great point about traveling alone. I am definitely seeing this as something new I need to do. What an adventure I might have!
      Thanks for commenting.

      January 25, 2011 at 12:57 pm

  43. OMG CONGRATS!! I’m so happy you got Freshly Pressed! It’s so weird because I haven’t had a chance to check Freshly Pressed lately and today I thought, “I should check FP to see if any of my blog friends made it.” And one did!!

    I especially like the part of your post about being alone but being comforted that someone else is in the house. I totally feel like that. I like to enjoy my alone time, but it comforts me to know someone I’m close to is in the other room.

    January 25, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    • I KNOW!! Let’s hold hands and do the “happy dance!” 🙂 (jumping up and down) Are you still doing your tweets? You better, ‘cuz I look for them everyday!

      Yea, it’s nice to just know someone you love is close by, but still giving you your space. That’s the best.

      January 25, 2011 at 12:59 pm

      • I got distracted from my tweets!! I went to Paris for the weekend, so I’ll post pics soon.

        January 25, 2011 at 2:47 pm

      • Okay. I’ll look forward to it!

        January 25, 2011 at 3:11 pm

  44. Kim

    I really enjoy eating out alone. I do bring a book but that’s because that’s how I unwind.

    Many times I have people come up to me and tell me how brave it was for me to go out for cocktails and dinner with a good book. Usually the next thing they do is ask if I would like to join their family for the evening!

    January 25, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    • Wow, people ask you to join them? I’ve never had that happen yet. But how nice of them to do that. Have you ever taken anybody up on that? That might be kind of cool to do.
      Thanks for commenting.

      January 25, 2011 at 1:03 pm

  45. I’m not scared to be alone either. However, my mom is!! She’s always telling me not to go places by myself, but I really enjoy it!

    January 25, 2011 at 1:13 pm

    • My mother still doesn’t like me going anywhere alone, and I’m grown with two teenagers! But that’s okay because I’m a mom, too, and I know she just is concerned for my safety as a single female. As far as safety goes, I’m always aware of my surroundings and who is around me. A good friend got me a small martial arts weapon to keep on my key chain — just in case. And I always have my cell phone in my pocket. I lock my doors in my car as soon as I get in, and I check the back seat before I get in. I call when I’m going to be longer than expected, and I always try to let someone know where I’ll be if I go anywhere alone. No need to make loved ones worry!

      Enjoy being alone, but stay safe. Thanks for reading.

      January 25, 2011 at 1:20 pm

  46. eternallyemo

    Great advice, especially about learning to be alone before you can truly be part of a succesful relationship. I think a lot of young people assume that “alone” = “lonely” and they spend too much time worrying about finding someone, when being in a relationship with the wrong person/for the wrong reasons can be even worse.

    Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

    January 25, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    • This is the message I try to give to my own children. And I think it’s more important than young people realize. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comment.

      January 25, 2011 at 1:24 pm

  47. My new year’s resolution was to take more risks and this definitely seems like something I could take on.

    I love the idea of being an independent woman who doesn’t need a guy in order to go out and treat yourself to a nice dinner.

    We shouldn’t hold back from doing things we want to do just because we have to do it alone sometimes.

    Thanks for the inspiration! =)

    January 25, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    • I’m always happy when I know I am going somewhere I will enjoy. It’s good to feel confident and independent. I hope you do it and really enjoy yourself!

      January 25, 2011 at 1:29 pm

  48. I love your post. I will be alone in the next 3 months because I will be moving to Singapore. I definitely need some time to be alone and re-examine my goals and priorities in life, also I have to check if I am really happy being where I am now at this point of my life.

    January 25, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    • I hope you can find the answers you need. Enjoy your time alone and stay safe!

      January 25, 2011 at 1:36 pm

  49. Agree on breakfast or lunch, dinner is a lot tougher. Didn’t like it when on biz trips, thankfully don’t travel too much anymore.

    Congrats on getting Freshly Pressed!

    January 25, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    • That probably would get old really fast if you had to do it all the time.

      January 25, 2011 at 1:49 pm

  50. Good post! I eat out alone several times a week and it’s heavenly! No kids asking for dessert, no husband asking “do you really need that?” and no awkwardness when the bill comes… lol

    Heather

    January 25, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    • Sounds like you have found all the good things about eating alone! 🙂 Thanks for your comment!

      January 25, 2011 at 1:59 pm

  51. I think it depends on where you’re from. A friend from Chicago went out alone all the time, but our friend from rural Iowa never did. Proximity to cities/carpooling factors in. Would you drive 30 miles to go to a coffee shop? Probably not, unless your friend had an errand in town. Still, alone time is oh-so-sweet. Good post! http://www.cassiecares.com

    January 25, 2011 at 2:01 pm

    • Having alone time and the ability to be alone with yourself without feeling uncomfortable or lonely is the point, really. Many people look forward to that time, too! Thanks for reading and for your comment.

      January 25, 2011 at 2:10 pm

  52. Not just eat, but travel. I love being alone 🙂

    January 25, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    • Several people have mentioned liking traveling alone. I think that’s great!

      January 25, 2011 at 2:11 pm

      • It depends on the inner world of the traveler (or the eater lol).. For some people it’s easier to be alone than with someone else.. I tried to travel with partners, but I can’t take it for long.. Perhaps, I just haven’t find the right person to travel with, but for now I prefer to be on the road alone..

        January 29, 2011 at 5:55 am

  53. mts

    I’m glad this post made Freshly Pressed, for it nails the difference between alone and lonely to a tee. Any time I look back to where I was lonely, it was always in a group situation. Ever spot relatives thousands of dollars to keep them from financial cataclysm, yet when you ask for the loan back once they’re doing well again, get told to shove off? Lonely. Ever get back stabbed by a friend, or stood up on a date with no call or explanation? Call someone for a ride home from the mechanic just to have him chew you out for not buying a new car, and the more he drones on the more you know he’s not coming, and it’s a long walk? Lonely.

    Sitting in a restaurant alone? Not lonely. Being a guy, travel isn’t lonely either; actually it lets me meet people with some interesting stories while out there. Who’s going to bother the big bouncer looking guy? For a woman, I can see that being a lot harder.

    Also, good photos!

    January 25, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    • Thank you for you comments. I really appreciate them. There is a definite difference between “lonely” and “alone.” It is sad that many people can make the connection to feeling lonely when there are others around. I think it’s actually more profound when there is some one or many others around instead of you being lonely alone. But that’s just my experience.

      And then there’s also that teen-age lonlieness some might feel which is in a special group all by itself. When you feel like no one understands you and that you wish you were born a horse or a bird instead because people just “don’t get you” and you don’t seem to be able to relate to them very well either. (Or was that just me that felt that way?)

      January 25, 2011 at 2:37 pm

  54. Pam

    I think creative people are seldom ‘alone’….we seem to always have some thoughts and ideas swirling around in our heads to keep us company and the excitment of the next ‘project’…

    January 25, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    • Maybe that’s why I don’t feel lonely when I’m alone! Thanks for stopping by.

      January 25, 2011 at 2:40 pm

  55. I prefer not to eat out alone if I can help it. For me it’s a very lonely feeling but if I don’t have a choice, I deal with it.

    January 25, 2011 at 2:33 pm

    • Well, I hope you can overcome that feeling and instead see it as a great time to spend with yourself and your thoughts. Thank you for your comment.

      January 25, 2011 at 11:07 pm

  56. This is a great topic of discussion. I love doing things on my own. I never have to compromise, I get to do exactly what I want to, I can stay in any particular place for as long or short as I want, I can speak with whomever I wish, the possibilities are endless. I am currently a Peace Corps volunteer living in Xachmaz, Azerbaijan. I live with a host family and though I love living here with them, I long for the times when I can get out on my own. Last weekend I took myself to the capital city, which is Baku. I wined and dined all by myself and it was great. Kudos to those of us who can enjoy the company of others as well as ourselves. Best to you!

    January 25, 2011 at 2:35 pm

    • Well said! Thanks for reading and commenting.

      January 25, 2011 at 3:06 pm

  57. sandra

    I really like your blog its says interesting things about you, and it make me thing again of being afraid to me lonely it sound that its not as bad as I think it might be…

    January 25, 2011 at 2:41 pm

    • Don’t be afraid. Enjoy it, instead. To be alone does not mean you have to feel lonely. Do things you like doing when you are alone. That’s your time!

      January 25, 2011 at 3:09 pm

  58. Great post! A very close friend called me last weekend, very last minute, to go to a movie she wanted to see. Couldn’t go, but she was surprised when I suggested she go by herself, she qas stunned and replied, “What,go to a movie alone? I never have.” She’s 55 years old!

    January 25, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    • I hope she did go after all! Thanks for your comment.

      January 25, 2011 at 3:10 pm

  59. I love my meals out without my husband. I usually go this mom and pop diner and get a good breakfast and a nice cup of coffee. For some reason, though, people are always looking at me strangely (never mind the book in my hand). It’s like I’ve disobeyed some rule that women shouldn’t be eating alone. Dunno. Drives me nuts though!

    January 25, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    • Yea, I think that is what holds a lot of people back from doing it. I sort of like them wondering what I am doing alone. I’m making up things about them, too, so why wouldn’t they be wondering about me. But, really, most of them are too busy talking and eating to notice me. I’m fine either way. Thanks for reading!

      January 25, 2011 at 3:13 pm

  60. If you see the world as a terrible place in which to live, other people as unfair, or life as having the cards stacked against you, you create a formula for anger, sadness or worry. Like when you are leaving for work on a dark, cold, wet morning and you hear the announcer on the radio describe the day as terrible. Yet you child in the backseat is quietly smiling at you, delighted with your company and the safe, dry car. This is one example of how the same event can be perceived in two totally different ways. You are now the one who has a choice about which perception you listen to.

    January 25, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    • This is what I totally believe. I know I have to set my mind to think in a positive way many times, just as a single parent trying to make it through life with my children. I do the same thing when I go out to eat, or anywhere, alone. I set my mind to seeing it as a pleasant, positive experience. I put myself almost as a character in a book who is having an adventure. When I do this, I thoroughly enjoy myself! Great comment. Thanks for reading.

      January 25, 2011 at 3:17 pm

  61. Hello,
    I just broke up with my boyfriend and is starting to experience life alone at 32 years old. Its scary but also a great challenge for me and reading your post gave me great hope !

    Thank you

    January 25, 2011 at 2:55 pm

    • Oh, you are so welcome! I became a single mother, suddenly, with two young children almost 9 years ago and never thought I would make it through. But here I am, with two good kids and eating out alone like the big girl I am! I did it by taking it one day at a time. And guess what? Before long, those days turned into weeks, months, and years. I believe myself to be a good person and everything that has happened to me is a part of who I am. You can do it, too! Stay positive. 🙂 And if you fall, well, it’s just like I tell my kids: “Tomorrow the sun shines again, and it’s the start of a brand new day. A brand new day to start over and try again to get it right. And everyday that you get to see the sun rise, that’s another chance you have.”

      January 25, 2011 at 3:25 pm

  62. Can you eat out alone? Absolutely?

    Can I? No, never, not in a million years. If I go to a diner that I know with people working there that are friendly, maybe. However, if I am truly alone, I will get bored and if I have nothing to write with then I will start to people watch or, worse yet, start making up games… and then things get weird.

    January 25, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    • What? You mean like making animals out of your mashed potatoes and stuff? Or do you dip your cake in your ice tea? What? What weird things? See, now I’m going to be wondering about what weird things you do when you eat alone!

      January 25, 2011 at 3:29 pm

      • If I told you everything, I have no doubts that you would report me to the authorities. I have been caught drawing people, striking up conversations about uncomfortable topics, claiming that a family’s youngest was “giving me the eye” and even nosing around in kitchens where I was not invited.

        January 25, 2011 at 5:24 pm

      • Hmmm… come to think of it, I’ve seen your drawings and comics. I wouldn’t want to be used as material for future posts. Then again, I know I come off as this wholesome, mother of two teens (which I mostly am), but I’m also a Gemini. And whether you believe in astrology or not, it gives me a good excuse to “act up” now and then. Therefore, I might just join in or even instigate a few new things that would surprise even you! I can make a kid cry with one look from 20 feet away. (Hey, it came in handy when my kids were little.) That could be fun.

        January 25, 2011 at 5:45 pm

  63. I am with you- I dont have a problem going to cafes, movies etc on my own… but somehow to go to a restaurant, out to a proper meal… THAT I have never done. Why it would be any different from going to have a coffee or whatever, I dont’t know, but I have always hesitated and decided it against it. You have a great blog here. And nice images with your post- really brought it to life!

    January 25, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    • Maybe it’s because we think the other people that are with their spouses or families of boyfriend/girlfriend will pity us and think we are losers? I like to think they are envious of my independence. You could always ask for a booth or a table in the corner. Most hostesses or hosts will try to give you those kinds of seats anyway if you are alone. If not, ask. They understand. I really look at it as a very nice, deserved treat to myself. Thanks for the compliment on my blog, too!

      January 25, 2011 at 3:37 pm

  64. Nice subject topic for a blog post.

    I have to agree, I think eating out alone shows that a person is confident/comfortable with themselves as a person. It also shows you’re independence.

    Everyone has to have their own time to reflect on one’s own life.

    January 25, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    • This is all true. Thanks for stopping by.

      January 25, 2011 at 3:38 pm

  65. carlascorner

    As you pointed out so well, there’s a major difference between being alone and being lonely. Being alone is a state of being, being lonely is a state of mind.

    We, as a society, make so many things into social gatherings — especially dining and entertainment — that doing things alone is outside many people’s comfort zone. Conversely, the more comfortable you are in a particular environment, the more likely you are to be there alone. You had a wonderful time in your neighborhood coffee shop, but would you have enjoyed yourself as much dining alone in a new, upscale restaurant you hadn’t visited before?

    I think comfort and confidence are two of the major defining elements of “lonely” — and of our decisions to do things by ourselves.

    Thanks for a great and thoughtful posted (and for being freshly pressed!).

    January 25, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    • I think you are right about one being a state of being and one being a state of mind. And you make a good point about how everything is about being social. We all need to eat. But even so, as I told another commentor, maybe so many people fear eating out because they don’t want others to pity them and that’s what they think others must be thinking about them when everyone else is coupled up or out with friends.

      Yes, I was familiar with the place I went. That’s why I like going. But I would also like to think that while their might be some initial discomfort going to eat somewhere new and unfamiliar, I would still have enough excitement to overrule that negative feeling, and enough confidence to still enjoy myself.

      Thanks so much for your wonderful comment!

      January 25, 2011 at 4:12 pm

  66. Eating out alone still has a stigma, especially in the evenings. I think during the day, in cafe’s and coffee shops its become more acceptable. I’ve been travelling before, so you have to eat out alone and do things like going to the cinema alone (something else still regarded as oursuit requiring a minimum of 2) and I’m happy doing this, just uncomfortable with some of the looks so you find yourself at times drifting somewhere anonymous like a fast-food joint. Hopefully things look like they’re starting to change.

    January 25, 2011 at 3:54 pm

    • Yes, I just said the same thing to a couple of other commentors. I think eating out in the evening is harder for some people. Especially if the restaurant is really nice.

      Thanks for stopping by.

      January 25, 2011 at 4:15 pm

  67. As long as a I have a newspaper or a book, I am fine dining alone. I even go to cinemas alone. It takes some getting used to it, but now I don’t even register the odd stares any more.

    January 25, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    • Hi, Andreas. You are one who likes to read while eating, like some others who have commented here. I can only do light reading when I eat. Mostly I just watch people and think and enjoy my meal. Sorry, your comment just got approved. It was hung up with some others till just now. Thank you for stopping by and commenting. Please, come back anytime.

      January 25, 2011 at 11:12 pm

  68. poets notes

    thats one of the best thoughts i’ve read for a long time. you say it exactly how it feels. And show that it is a positive thing. well done and thank you.

    January 25, 2011 at 4:06 pm

    • Thanks! Come by anytime.

      January 25, 2011 at 4:18 pm

  69. I used to hate being alone until I found out that it’s better to be alone then being with someone and feeling alone. The most profound moment about being alone was when I went on a meditation retreat where we were not allowed to speak or associate with anyone for 10 days. Basically,you have to pretetend you are alone. It was the best 10 days. Now, I enjoy quiet time with myself. It’s amazing how much more you can learn about yourself without talking or the influence of others.

    Great post! Thanks for sharing. 🙂

    January 25, 2011 at 4:06 pm

    • Oh, wow. That sounds like quite a challenge! I bet you learned a lot about yourself, too.
      Being with someone and feeling alone is not good. I know. Being alone and liking who I am with — me — so much better!

      January 25, 2011 at 4:21 pm

  70. I enjoyed this post. The comments are longer than the post, so I didn’t read all of them. I’m reading your post as I sit alone at Paneras, enjoying a great cup of coffee and a nice dessert. I love my times alone, but know I have friends and family to keep me company when I need them. Being single isn’t bad. Being unhappy being single would be bad.

    January 25, 2011 at 4:13 pm

    • Paneras is one of my favorite places to eat alone! I love their mango smoothies! Agreed on the being single isn’t bad. Thanks for reading.

      January 25, 2011 at 4:24 pm

  71. YOU GO GIRL!!!! Your post is fabulous and the photos incredible!!!I just finished dining unrushed, with no drama, by candlelight on my veranda…looking at the beauty of an amaryllis in full bloom and a set of scented roses. Divine!!!..Congratulations!

    January 25, 2011 at 4:21 pm

    • Ahhh… I see. When you do “alone,” you do it well! Good for you, too! Thanks for reading and commenting.

      January 25, 2011 at 4:26 pm

  72. Please fill me in on how you get the copyright embedded on your photo? And how you can be assured that no one steals snippets of your post blog? Merci!

    January 25, 2011 at 4:27 pm

  73. Love this post! I feel the same way. I don’t understand why people automatically assume there’s something wrong with you if you’re a loner. Although you can’t be too independent…can you?

    January 25, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    • I don’t think so, but if you are a woman and very independent, some men (maybe more of my generation) feel threatened by that sometimes. Those are not usually the ones I care to be around anyway. Thanks for commenting!

      January 25, 2011 at 5:17 pm

  74. The Letter "B"

    I feel cheated by your blog post. I was hoping you’d include a photo of that cherry cordial donut you mentioned. 🙂

    Love the post! I remember the first time I went to a movie by myself as a teenager. I felt like an adult. It was something that I began to get used to and enjoy. As I grew older and traveled more eating alone was something that I enjoyed more and more.

    January 25, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    • So, sorry! It didn’t last long enough to take a photo, believe me.
      I think that it does get easier the more you do it. Certainly, it becomes more enjoyable as you build your confidence. Thanks for reading.

      January 25, 2011 at 5:20 pm

  75. I love spending time alone. It’s empowering to know that I don’t need to entirely depend on others to bring me joy or make my life fulfilling. But most of my alone time I spend at home… So you’ve inspired me to try eating out alone!

    Beautifully written, you’re a talented writer.

    January 25, 2011 at 5:16 pm

    • When you love to cook and do it well, why would you?! Even so, it’s such a nice treat to let someone wait on you and do all the clean-up. It is empowering–especially when you leave a decent tip! Thanks for stopping by.

      January 25, 2011 at 5:25 pm

      • I definitely like having someone else in charge of cleaning up. Sometimes I wonder how I can make such a mess of the kitchen, although the food often makes up for all of the dirty dishes!

        January 25, 2011 at 9:37 pm

  76. jule1

    I’ve eaten out so many times by myself I couldn’t begin to estimate the number. Being alone is valuable, and invariably, since you will be alone at times in your life, it’s best to find a way to enjoy it. I honestly find it weird when I meet person who is so busy, so on the go, that they are never alone unless they just collapse at home to go to sleep. How can you truly know yourself if you are not alone sometimes? It’s one of the best ways to get to know your inner self.

    I used to eat at a diner near me often enough that one of the waitresses called me the “Reading Lady” because I always brought a book. Apparently I was outstanding in that (a) I came in and ate alone and (b) I read a book! To me, that’s such a natural state I was surprised anyone would give me a nickname based on that activity. But it was kind of cute, I guess!

    January 25, 2011 at 5:39 pm

    • I honestly think there are some people that don’t like being alone so much that they will distract themselves by staying busy. I want to be able to hear my own thoughts and let them flow freely and develop. The only way I can do that, is to spend some time alone. I have my “light bulb” moments when I am alone with my thoughts.
      Thanks for commenting.

      January 25, 2011 at 5:52 pm

  77. Fantastic post on a simple topic. I really want to feeling of being ‘alone’. Does sound sad, but it really does feeling like your capable and independent. Independent is the main word what I’m trying to say. I’m ready to live on my own or with a roomie at my favorite college down by the beach. I’m ready to take on the style of a business man WITH a personality.

    January 25, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    • Being independent is very important. It’s part of growing up. College takes a lot of focus and will test your ability to be alone (because you’ll need lots of time for studying). Good luck to you!

      January 25, 2011 at 5:58 pm

  78. Wow! I feel the same way! I wrote a blog entry about this going out to eat on your own http://www.iqweenblog.com/2010/08/do-you-go-out-with-yourself.html In todays society we are to wrapped around constatly being around people. Its important to have time for yourself.

    January 25, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    • Sorry, Keneisha. Your comment, along with some others, got hung up till just now. Socializing is great, but not a “have to” all the time. Thanks for reading.

      January 25, 2011 at 11:14 pm

  79. What a great post! I agree that everyone needs to spend some time alone, whether it’s to do what they like to do, to get to know yourself better, or whatever other reason. I’m fiercely independent and I’ve done the movie thing alone, sat at a bar by myself, eaten out alone (although I admit, never at a nice restaurant for dinner). While I’m sure I’ve gotten a few looks, it’s very empowering. I do have to say though sometimes it gets a little tiring being alone, and the “lonely” state of mind sets in. It’s a fine line sometimes, and I just have to learn to balance the two. Anyway, great blog and pics!

    January 25, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    • I love cooking and do a lot of it. So, I don’t eat out alone all the time. It’s just something special for every now and then. Although, I eat lunch out the most. It always makes me feel good. And if I have to do it, I’m going to make the best of it, for sure! Thanks for the comment.

      January 25, 2011 at 6:02 pm

  80. congrats on FP! I like your photos a lot…esp. the snowy street with the porch lite (and we’re getting 6-10″ more, Wednesday nite!)although i have coffee/quick meal alone; i hardly ever eat a fancy meal alone…i’m in the “people will stare/pity me” camp.
    and it’s certainly thoughtful that you answer all your comments….

    January 25, 2011 at 5:53 pm

    • First, thanks for the congrats. Secondly, I am so tired of the snow/cold I don’t know what I’m going to do because it’s only the end of January! It’s been known to snow here even into April! And, third, I respond to everyone’s comments because it means a lot to me that people take the time to read and comment. Plus, I have commented on other’s blogs and I always go back to and love the ones who take the time to respond to me. Part of the joy of loving to write is that it IS a form of communication. And even though it’s a blog with “postings,” I want it to be a two-way dialogue that I can have with my readers. I wish I could sit and type back and forth with several people who have written today because I can see some very good starts to great conversation. I have come across some people that I would love to get to know and who have good and smart and funny things to say since I started blogging. That’s what makes me want to come back every week and write something more! Thanks you so much for your comment!

      January 25, 2011 at 6:12 pm

  81. There is indeed much prejudice in this area. A pet peeve of mine is the often occuring theme that a TV character’s lack of friends and poor situation is proved by the fact that he watches TV on Friday night… Speaking for myself, I would much rather watch a good movie alone than to mill around in an over-crowded disco. Indeed, the causality is the reversed: The fact that I am highly introverted and have many do-it-alone interests are the reason that I have a social life that many others would perceive as lacking. It is the wish to watch a good movie that leads to a “dull” social life—not the social life that forces me to watch the movie.

    January 25, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    • Oh, I love your thoughts on this! I feel the same way many times. You have a good grip on this issue and know exactly how you feel about it. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. Sorry, you’re comment got hung up and I just now was able to approve it.

      January 25, 2011 at 10:49 pm

  82. When I was a student, I loved being on my own, schedule my own work, eat when I want, change my mind at the last minute without upsetting anyone…when I got married, most of those things I could not do and I expected that, only the thought of being alone scares me, I wouldn’t last 10 minutes without my wife and kids….Good Post

    January 25, 2011 at 5:58 pm

    • That’s actually kind of sweet! You are married and happy and have a family. Of course, you don’t want to be without them! But, if you had some time to yourself, or your wife had some time to herself, or even if you both were in the same house but doing different alone activities, you could be okay for some time alone just to each his/her own, right? I hope so. Thanks for your comment. Sorry, your comment got hung up and I could only just now approve it.

      January 25, 2011 at 10:53 pm

  83. Widdad1948

    I can relate completly with your words. I do believe that we need to be with ourselves first so we aspire to share the “room” afterwards with somebody else. I enjoyed reading your blog.

    January 25, 2011 at 5:59 pm

    • If you are never alone with yourself, you don’t even know how to trust your own judgement because forever after when you are with someone, there will always be someone putting their two cents in — whether you want it or not. Thanks for reading.

      January 25, 2011 at 6:15 pm

  84. I’ve always said that I’d rather be alone (I am content with my own company) rather than in a relationship where I was lonely. I’m always a bit self-conscious when I eat out alone, but I also feel quietly proud of myself – so many people can’t do it.

    January 25, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    • I know, I feel so good when the waiter/waitress is so nice to me and gives me ALL the attention because I’m the only one who is going to be giving out the tip! 🙂

      January 25, 2011 at 6:19 pm

  85. srqpix

    When I’m at my loneliest point is when a new relationship forms. I have learned to careful what I ask for because I just might get it.

    January 25, 2011 at 6:07 pm

    • That’s how I felt about the last short-lived relationship I had. I wanted someone to shower me with attention. Then, I got it and it was suffocating! I still want attention from someone, but not to the point I can’t also have my alone time.

      January 25, 2011 at 6:21 pm

  86. I used to feel sorry for people who ate alone at restaurants, thinking they were “lonely”…until I had kids. Now my wonderful husband lets me go out alone every Tuesday night and it’s heaven! i can’t wait to get away each week and just have a quiet meal to myself!

    January 25, 2011 at 6:22 pm

    • Wow, that is really nice of him. You’re very lucky (and I’m sure he is, too) to have someone that understands the need for some “me” time after being with kids all day.
      Thanks for your comment.

      January 25, 2011 at 8:27 pm

  87. nyota0uhura

    You are so very right about this. People who confuse the two notions of “alone” and “lonely” actually annoy me to a certain degree. I’ve been alone for a long time and not by choice, but I am still good at it.

    My thing isn’t so much eating out, it’s the cinema. I’m a film freak and a film journalist and I love going to the movies. I’ve gone to screenings alone for as long as I can remember. Not as a rule, it happens regularly that I go with a friend or my father, but I don’t mind it. But other than my father, I know no one else who goes to the cinema alone. No one! As with what you said with eating out, they feel awkward, embarassed and like they’d be signaling “I’m a social reject” if they went alone. I, on the other hand, enjoy the heck out of it! I can fully concentrate on the film, I’m left to my own thoughts before, during and after, I get to observe people’s reactions to an art form that is both my passion and my job. As I get older, I actually find that I seek out solo screenings more and more. My friends all see it as a social thing: eat popcorn, drink Coke, discuss, discuss, discuss. I’m a purist. I never feel the need for snacks at the cinema, only drink when I’m actually thirsty and I don’t need to share, share, share even though I’m otherwise a very verbose person.

    All that to say, thanks for this post. Hopefully a few more people will now understand the difference between alone and lonely better and maybe get braver about doing things on their own, for their own sakes and not use company as a social crutch. We can be strong, assertive and interesting all by ourselves!

    January 25, 2011 at 6:24 pm

    • I absolutely love what you wrote! It is perfectly okay to do things on your own and have a good time. I don’t like it when I see my own children get asked to go somewhere that they probably would never go in the first place, and I know full well the other person only asked them to go because they don’t want to go alone. It’s okay if they really want to go. But even they know when a person is asking because they really want their company or when it’s just because they are socially lacking the confidence to go somewhere alone. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts.

      January 25, 2011 at 8:34 pm

  88. this is a great topic and not one you’d think people would be so polarized on. you either enjoy it, hate it, or have forced yourself to cope with it and then still fall into enjoy it or not.

    i am in the forced to cope with it and now LOVE IT catagory. as a young atholic girl i moved out from my family and in with my husband. divorce 2.5 years later made me experience truly alone for the 1st time in my life. living alone, shopping alone, eating alone, everything. i hated it at 1st and kept dragging my fiends out or sitting at my families house long after dinner was over. but about a year of fighting it, i started to enjoy it, now i love it. the solitude with myself is now essential.

    now keep at lease one night completely to myself. tonight i’m going to go home, work out, cook dinner (and lunch for tomorrow) and go see a movie. a friend invited me over to the spa and i replied, nope it’s my alone night lol. how the times have changed, for the better 🙂

    January 25, 2011 at 6:46 pm

    • We HAVE to have that time to recharge and take care of ourselves, don’t we? I’m glad you were able to learn to enjoy your time alone instead of fearing it. You’ve probably really got to know more about yourself and found your own beat to skip to now! Thanks for your personal story!

      January 25, 2011 at 8:38 pm

  89. I’m still young, but I absolutely agree with you that people have to learn to be alone. These days, a lot of people consider being alone as something embarrassing and they tend to cling onto others around them. But really, everyone needs a private time once in a while 🙂

    January 25, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    • Even if you were a shy kid growing up (which I very much was), you still can come out of your shell and learn to feel comfortable when it’s just you, no matter where you are. Thanks for reading.

      January 25, 2011 at 8:40 pm

  90. I absolutely love this post! I’m in love with ‘me’ at the moment and looking forward to giving ‘me’ a lil special treat for the Valentine’s day! Thank you for sharing this, nothing feels better than discovering that you can make yourself happy by yourself!-Self-discovery!

    January 25, 2011 at 7:14 pm

    • I’ve bought myself chocolates for Valentine’s Day before — more than once! Not that I need a special day to buy chocolate. 🙂 Thanks for your comment.

      January 25, 2011 at 8:42 pm

  91. M:apfel

    Amazing. Conveys my thoughts about eating out alone exactly 🙂 and now, I can finally explain to others why they should try it, too!

    January 25, 2011 at 7:52 pm

    • Thank you for reading my post. Come back anytime!

      January 25, 2011 at 8:43 pm

  92. Elijah Jeong

    I feel you on this one. I used to be a person who was terrified/embarrassed to be out in public alone, by myself. But now that I’ve learned to be comfortable with myself and unafraid of other people’s judgments, I enjoy my time alone! It’s very peaceful.

    January 25, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    • I think so, too. I was so calm sitting at that table just taking my time to enjoy treats. It was perfect for me. Thanks for commenting.

      January 25, 2011 at 8:45 pm

  93. I love to be alone.. and enjoy it vey much..

    🙂

    Good Take from you.

    January 25, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    • Thank you for stopping by.

      January 25, 2011 at 8:46 pm

  94. You are so right that “alone” and “lonely” are not neccessarily the same thing! I often enjoy eating out alone; I like being alone with my thoughts. I crave alone time (yeah, I’m a mom!) and I don’t get it often. Sure, sometimes alone feels lonely… if I focus on ‘everyone else is here with someone’… then I need to change my focus. It is also true that it is much lonelier to be “lonely with someone else” than “lonely alone” if that makes sense? Good post, anyrate!

    January 25, 2011 at 8:22 pm

    • If I were the ruler of the earth, every mother would get some alone time at least some part of the day. Mothers (and I’m sure some fathers, too) need the time to recuperate from the daily pull of constantly meeting everyone else’s needs. That’s why I like being waited on at a restaurant. Somebody else is tending to my needs for a while. It feels really great! Thanks for reading and commenting.

      January 25, 2011 at 8:49 pm

  95. As a freelancer, I do a lot of my work in cafes and I sometimes get something to eat; specifically going out to a meal by myself, though, isn’t something I do often.

    January 25, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    • No, I don’t do it often either. Just once in a while. My main point was that I’m not afraid to do it and I don’t feel lonely when I do. It’s actually the opposite for me. Thank you for stopping by and commenting.

      January 25, 2011 at 8:51 pm

  96. I appreciate this post….I think in big cities it’s more socially acceptable to see people eating solo in restaurants.

    But in a small town that would look pretty obvious.

    It depends on the person…and how independent they are also. I come from a family of 5 siblings. I am the eldest…and one finds many first-borns, at least the ones I’ve personally met, more content to play by themselves, enjoy solo sports, hobbies by themselves.

    I’ve been cycling regularily …solo at least over 60% of the time. Other times with my partner who also is a cyclist and not big on weekly rides with guys…he just doesn’t need it and goes off cycling solo ….has even taken solo bike trips across North American several times! He and I connect daily in the evening.

    I’ve always wondered about couples who absolutely must cell-phone each other several times per day …and they don’t even have children to coordinate stuff/activities! He and I don’t even figure out a grocery list in advance. We just each use our intuition and buy food for the fridge. It works out…since we know what each other dislikes, etc.

    I didn’t meet my partner until I was 31. I was already used to doing alot of stuff solo..including buying my own home.

    I wish strength to each person…because it can be empowering to know your own capacity to live well if life circumstances are such that one ends up alone..but with several friends for companionship and conversation. 🙂

    January 25, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    • That is a reality not many people think about, but is very true. Anyone could end up alone at any given time, and it can such a shock when it happens. If you’ve never experienced being alone, it can take some getting used to. Thanks for commenting.

      January 25, 2011 at 8:56 pm

  97. Although we are social beings, some alone time is really important. It gives us the opportunity to think and reflect.
    Congrats! 🙂

    January 25, 2011 at 8:42 pm

    • I agree. Thank you for coming by and for commenting.

      January 25, 2011 at 10:40 pm

  98. This was such a good read. I really agree with you about learning to be alone. I have been alone for two years now but have learned so much. I’ve also grown in so many ways in which I’m not sure I would have if I had been with someone. I thank God for the wisdom he is teaching me about being ‘alone’, yet never alone with Him.

    January 25, 2011 at 8:45 pm

    • And it’s not that I even prefer to be alone, or that I have made a declaration that this is the life I choose for me. It’s just that I don’t mind being alone, many times I choose to go someplace alone, and I’m okay to be alone with myself doing things out in public. But, above all, just because I’m out alone, that doesn’t make me automatically lonely. And if I ever start to feel lonely, I always have my children, my friends, and my family. I’m happy that what you are getting out of your time alone is self-discovery and growth.
      Thank you for reading and commenting.

      January 25, 2011 at 10:46 pm

  99. Very interesting. I don’t know who said it but there is a great quote:

    To find themselves in the presence of true greatness, some people find it necessary only to be alone.”

    January 25, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    • I guess that can be taken a couple of different ways. I will choose to read it in a way that means its okay to be alone and enjoy it. Thanks for stopping by. Please, come back anytime.

      January 25, 2011 at 9:01 pm

  100. I can eat alone, but I can’t go to the movies alone. Weird, right?

    January 25, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    • Apparently not. Seems many people commented on how they could do one or the other, but vary rarely both. Thanks for your comment.

      January 25, 2011 at 9:27 pm

  101. sometimes, i dont mind being alone. but it does get boring. congrats on being freshly pressed! :]

    January 25, 2011 at 9:11 pm

    • Thank you. Maybe you are just more of a people person or need to find more interests. There is soooo…much in life to do and learn. It should never be boring. Thank you for stopping by and commenting.

      January 25, 2011 at 9:29 pm

  102. I just recently moved out on my own, 45 minutes away from everyone I am closest to. The first week, I couldn’t imagine going out to eat by myself, or going to see a movie without a friend or a date. Now that I’ve had time to realize that these things are perfectly okay–and sometimes very gratifying!–I’ve found that my alone time is almost better than being surrounded by friends. Almost. 😉

    Thanks for reminding me of why. A wonderful read.

    January 25, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    • I just don’t understand how we all came to be so conditioned to think it’s some kind of horrible stigma to be out alone. It’s our life and our time. We should enjoy whatever we are doing when we are alone and out in public and not feel like we’re some sort of weird outcast. You have a right to see a movie or eat anywhere you like if you’re paying for it. Are there signs around somewhere that say “couples only — no single people allowed?” It’s funny, but not. I’m glad that you overcame that invisible shield that makes people feel like they can’t be out in public alone. I do think it gets easier the more you do it. I wander around craft fairs alone or art shows. If it’s something I really want to do and no one else wants to go (and many times I don’t want anyone else to go with me because I can’t take my time and look at what I want at my own pace) then I go alone and am perfectly fine with it. Thanks so much for your comment. I glad you enjoy your time alone!

      January 25, 2011 at 9:39 pm

  103. I’m happily married, but do enjoy my alone time. My husband goes to the office on Saturday mornings sometimes and although it can be lonesome… I do enjoy a few hours to myself. I nap, clean, do homework, browse websites, and my favorite, play loud music and dance like crazy! You’re right, you must give yourself alone time. There is nothing more freeing for me than to crank up some old school Backstreet Boys and dance around like I did in middle school in my room 🙂

    January 25, 2011 at 9:47 pm

    • I still “dance it out” to many emotions and just for fun — and I’m “NOT-halfway-to-50.” 🙂 That’s why I kept my old turntable! I have so many albums I like to play and “crank up.”
      Thanks for commenting. You sound very happy and joyful!

      January 25, 2011 at 9:53 pm

  104. I learned to eat out alone when I started traveling for work. Now, I find myself alone in strange cities on business and the only option is to eat by myself. It’s not like I can whip up a quick meal in my hotel room on a hot plate. Room service is expensive and why hide in my room when there’s a city to explore?

    And you know what? It can be great! I AM a reading eater, so I bring a book or a newspaper, order my meal, and enjoy the quiet.

    January 25, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    • How nice that you get to eat in different cities! My older sister is a reading eater and so is my daughter. I’ll ocasionally flip through a magazine and read an article or two. I get too engrossed in books and would probably let my food get cold. Thanks for your comment.

      January 25, 2011 at 10:11 pm

  105. Thanks for sharing this. I used to have a terrible time going to grab a coffee let alone a full meal by myself… today it’s one of my favorite things 🙂 Besides, you never know who you’re going to meet when you’re out and about by yourself!

    January 25, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    • One can always hope! 😉 Thanks for reading and commenting.

      January 25, 2011 at 10:17 pm

  106. Yeah I definitely feel comfortable alone. Most, if not all, my close friends are so uncomfortable with it. I lived in another state for 2 years and I was always alone. I did feel lonely, but in those lonely times, I found myself plan for the future. And that was wonderful.

    January 25, 2011 at 10:11 pm

    • So you had a level of lonliness that was bearable, and then you found something to occupy yourself with so you could manage it. I’m glad you can be alone and be comfortable. And it’s because you experienced it and dealt with it. Good for you. Thanks for reading here and for your comment.

      January 25, 2011 at 10:25 pm

  107. I identify a lot with this post. I’ve always been able to enjoy an outing on my own when I can take a little time to savor an activity that only has to amuse me. Sometimes I long to share something, but I’m learning to put that feeling aside — to save it for souls who see the value of meeting another soul halfway. I’m learning that if I reach out and the other person doesn’t, it’s probably best to walk away, literally or figuratively, alone, down a scenic path, with my camera. Or whatever else strikes my fancy.

    I like your writing, and your photos. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed! Take care.

    January 25, 2011 at 10:12 pm

    • I will go places alone and enjoy, too. I have the desire to want to share my life — I just don’t want to give up mine in the process. Nor should I have to or even be asked to do so. And a meeting of the souls is such a lovely way to imagine it. Nice words. I checked out your blog very briefly and will go back when my 15 minutes of fame dies down. For now, I’m enjoying it! Thanks for your comment.

      January 25, 2011 at 10:37 pm

  108. I’ve eaten out alone when traveling for business and have never really liked it. For me, eating is a social activity and conversing with other people is a major part of it. Just my take…

    January 25, 2011 at 10:37 pm

    • I very much believe in the Family Table. We have our meals here at home as a family everyday. Many times we eat out as a family. But when I do choose to eat out alone, I enjoy it. There are times, not many, when we can’t eat together because my children have an activity to attend or are out with their own friends. And they won’t live here forever. So, if I go out alone, I am comfortable with it and I can be alone and not feel weird or anything. Hopefully, if it is something you don’t like, you will never have to be in that situation. Or, I guess you could just get take out. Thanks for commenting.

      January 25, 2011 at 11:27 pm

  109. Jason Moore

    I’m at Denny’s eating alone while reading this right now! I eat out alone all the time and even go to the movies by myself. Of course I’m not a total loner, I do enjoy the company while going out to eat.

    Also I think it’s pretty cool you replied to like all of the responses here:)

    January 25, 2011 at 11:13 pm

    • Thank you, Jason. You are not only able to eat alone and be okay with it, you are apparently a late night eater like me! I don’t always eat alone and not always late at night. But I just finished my supper here at home, too, just minutes ago! So, I guess, in a way, we are not dinning alone tonight. We have sort of shared a virtual meal! 🙂 It is very important to me to pay attention to everyone that took the time to comment here today. But, at some point, I will have to get some sleep! It’s been fun today. I feel like Sally Field when she won the Oscar, “You like me! You really like me!” Thanks for commenting. Come back anytime.

      January 25, 2011 at 11:19 pm

  110. Thank you. That was very beautiful.

    January 26, 2011 at 12:06 am

    • So sorry, Mohammed, that I did not reply to your comment earlier. Things were happening so fast and I found some comments got hung up for some reason, and I couldn’t approve them till hours later. Not sure what happened. At any rate, I very much appreciate your comment here. I hope you will forgive me for not responding sooner and come back anytime you like.

      January 26, 2011 at 10:43 pm

  111. I Love this article. I have some counter-perspectives on it, but this is great. I appreciate you sharing how important it is to be comfortable with yourself and addressing the differences between being alone and lonely.

    Peace,

    Res

    http://www.facebook.com/ressurrectiongraves

    January 26, 2011 at 12:06 am

    • Yes, I do think it is important. I need to have that time and know so do many others. Thank you for your comment.

      January 26, 2011 at 12:21 am

  112. leahsinger

    Great post! I am so with you in that I love to dine alone. I’ve had great meals with the company of myself, just enjoying the silence and my thoughts. Sometimes, I never feel less alone.

    January 26, 2011 at 12:23 am

    • Me, too. And I can really focus on enjoying my food, too. I love eating out with my family, but I love my peaceful times alone, too. Thanks for stopping back by again. Glad you came back!

      January 26, 2011 at 5:34 am

  113. JM

    I read the entire post by myself. It was amazing reading from start to finish without interruption. I can’t do that when family and friends are around!

    January 26, 2011 at 12:34 am

    • Yes, and it’s not that you don’t love your friends and family, you just know that being alone doing something you love is good, too. Thanks for commenting.

      January 26, 2011 at 5:35 am

  114. John Osorio

    I love going out alone. Living the working man’s life in Hong Kong can take quite a toll on one’s mental state. (Especially if that person is used to working the US standard 5 day week.) Getting to go out for a coffee by myself like you did is an extremely rare treat for contemplation of things past and yet to come. Nice post. 🙂

    January 26, 2011 at 12:58 am

    • I think it is much needed for the sake of our physical, mental, and spiritual health. To just sit in the silence of your own thoughts is refreshing. Thank you for reading and commenting.

      January 26, 2011 at 5:38 am

  115. mrthekidd

    Excellent post.
    I love to spend time alone, it’s how I recharge myself. My wife recharges by being with other people, so it works perfectly for us. I particularly enjoy it because I work in London and have 2 small kids, so lots of demand for me and my time/attention. Usually I sit and watch the TV I’m ‘not allowed’ to (children again!) or play around online. I admire that you’re totally ok with being alone and that you relish the time you have, it is inspirational in a culture that says you need to be connected. If more people pursued and enjoyed me-time, I’m pretty sure we’d all get along much better.

    January 26, 2011 at 1:39 am

    • I really like your comment. Because I’m not anti-social or don’t like being around other people. I do. But I can enjoy others and appreciate them more when I know I have spent some time for myself alone, and that when I am with someone else, it’s because I really want to be in their company and engage with them solely. Have you ever noticed how at 5 p.m. people are rushing, and I mean to the point of almost creating accidents, to get home after work?! I’m just amazed at how some people can’t wait to get home. I always think it’s because they just want to be ALONE and away from all the chaos they may have just endured all day. Even when they’ve had a good work experience, that feeling of finally getting back home at the end of the day is so great. And men, especially, if they are the ones who have been gone all day at work, need that 30 minutes or so of unwinding time before they even want to be approached by the spouse or kids just to detach from the world and recharge their own souls. I discovered this myself when I became single and had to go to work on a daily basis to provide for my family instead of just for some spending cash. I love my kids, but would have to tell them to, please, just give mommy some time alone for a few and then they could have my full attention. It’s the one thing I wish I had been more aware of when I was married — how important that wind down time was for my hard-working ex-husband and not take it so personal when he didn’t want to immediately engage in too much conversation as soon as he got home.
      Thank you for reading here and for your comment.

      January 26, 2011 at 5:55 am

    • iangappie

      me too! i recharge when i give my self an alone time. i’ll just sit on a bench near our school field and just enjoy the time watching people, observing the skies and feel the breeze. 😀 totally cool feeling. 🙂

      January 29, 2011 at 11:09 am

  116. But who will I talk too? I’m Greek, I always have to be talking..it’s in my DNA.

    Good post!

    Blessings,

    Ava
    xox

    January 26, 2011 at 2:15 am

    • Oh, my! You would get along well with my constantly talking Hispanic sisters! (all 7 of them) Thanks for visiting and commenting.

      January 26, 2011 at 5:58 am

  117. What a nice pictures!!(^^)

    January 26, 2011 at 2:20 am

    • Thank you. Come back anytime.

      January 26, 2011 at 6:06 am

  118. Hey Ms. Rita I feel like my mom is speaking to me about having the time for yourself. You have a point. I’ve been alone this past few days and I realized all the things that matter to me. But as much as possible I don’t eat out alone. It’s a lonely feeling having no one to share your food with. Especially if it’s your favorite one.

    January 26, 2011 at 2:22 am

    • My daughter goes to her room after a long day at work and school, club meetings, and theater rehearsals. She is in her second year of college and feels the stress and strain of such a demanding life right now. She still takes time to go out with friends, but when she is at home, she wants her “me” time. I leave her alone and let her recharge, because I know how she feels! Thank you for commenting.

      January 26, 2011 at 6:10 am

  119. Pingback: Alone & Lonely « one line a day.

    • Thank you for linking back to me.

      January 26, 2011 at 9:20 am

  120. i lived alone for half of my life and i must confess …..i enjoyed myself. i did all the things i wanted to do. now i have a family and i also love having them in my life… but capturing a few ‘alone moments’ is important. i like the way you appreciate one being comfortable with ones self… and also your replies. looking forward to mine.

    January 26, 2011 at 2:23 am

    • You are very fortunate to have had that time. I have seen both sides of the coin, also. It makes me really appreciate both. I know a lot of people that really fear being alone, no matter what. I would love to have someone to share my life with again, sometime. But I don’t sit around and feel lonely and sad and waiting to meet someone, and can pursue my own interests with joy and fullfillment. I have great friends that I love talking to and one who is now single again, also. We can go out to breakfast or I lunch with my married friends. I have a good life. Thanks for your comments. I hope you come back again sometime.

      January 26, 2011 at 6:32 am

  121. Thanks for sharing this 🙂 I enjoyed reading this post very much because the topic was something I had to face while traveling to Paris alone last month. I was a little unsure about dining out alone, but knowing that that was my only option, I embraced the opportunity eagerly. It was great to just have some ME time, especially in a foreign city where I could just people-watch or read and write with a cup of grand crème for two hours 😛

    January 26, 2011 at 2:55 am

    • That just sounds so adventurous! You must have felt so strong, capable, and independent. Good for you. Thanks for sharing your experience.

      January 26, 2011 at 7:09 am

  122. Good post. It made me feel better about being alone. I don’t mind heading out to eat alone, although other activities – heading to gigs at busy clubs alone when it seems like everyone else is out with friends or partners can be very lonely. It seems funny to me that so many people spend so much of their lives being lonely – you think with all the other lonely people out there that they’d find company easily. On the flip side I can see there are reasons that prevent them from going out and meeting others.

    January 26, 2011 at 3:11 am

    • I have thought the same thing myself. And, don’t get me wrong, I have had those same feelings of being a third wheel if I have been out with friends who are couples. It’s not always so fun. Even at family gatherings when all my other sisters are with their husbands and my brother with his wife, it can make me feel a little lonely. But certainly, I don’t need to feel pitied because my life is fullfilling and rich with what I do and with my children still living at home. I have a freedom that I cherish to do the things I want without hesitation. Thank you for reading and for your comment.

      January 26, 2011 at 7:21 am

  123. You can definitely eat out alone. I’ve done it and I love it. Bring a book. It’s just you, the book and the food. Yummy!

    January 26, 2011 at 3:49 am

    • I can’t read a book, just maybe a magazine article or two. But my daughter would sit at the dinner table with a book if you would let her. Just like one of my sisters used to do. I think there are a lot of people that enjoy reading and eating at the same time. I suppose it’s no different than watching T.V. while you eat. Now, that, I can do! Not all the time, but I won’t miss a good episode of something I love because I so rarely watch T.V. Thanks for your comment.

      January 26, 2011 at 7:24 am

  124. Do you like yourself enough to spend some time with “you?” I do.

    That ending wins it all! Two thumbs up for this post! As a person who values solitariness, I find being alone is a sort of escapade from the normal hectic hours of life.. It’s like saying “be right back” to the world for some “me time”.

    Again, good post 😀

    January 26, 2011 at 3:55 am

    • Yes, I agree. It’s not at all being selfish. We come into this world alone, we go out alone. Nothing wrong with a little “me time.” Thanks for your compliments and your comment.

      January 26, 2011 at 7:26 am

  125. I am not a very social person, but I always find it hard to lunch alone or even anywhere else. But I love being alone in the house, it makes me very happy and relaxed.

    January 26, 2011 at 3:59 am

    • Isn’t it the best when you have the house to yourself?! I love that, too. Thanks so much for reading.

      January 26, 2011 at 7:28 am

  126. This is weird because I was just reading an article about why some people in my country (Singapore) hates dining alone.

    http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_625838.html

    I admit, I kinda roll my eyes a little watching the video because c’mon it’s just a MEAL!

    Sometimes I prefer eating alone because I’m a fast eater and it’s nice to not have to wait for the other party while they chew and nibble endlessly. And plus, it feels good to be lost in my own thoughts with no interruption at all. 🙂

    January 26, 2011 at 4:25 am

    • That’s kind of funny! My daughter is a very slow eater, and I use to be when growing up. There are times when I just need to eat to stop feeling famished, and times when I want to just savor every bite like her. Thank you for your comment.

      January 26, 2011 at 7:32 am

  127. mairzeebp

    You know, for the longest time, I used to feel such upset that I was the one among all of my friends who was alone. People were off getting married, buying homes, having kids and there I was barely able to have a decent cup of coffee with a date. It took me a little longer than I wish it would have to realize how lucky I am. I now have more of a sense of who I am and what I want and I know what it is like to have time to myself. I dine alone, go to movies alone and although I would love to have a special someone, I also feel very capable and independent. Nice post and I love the pic of the window. Thank you for sharing.

    January 26, 2011 at 5:39 am

    • Yes, I totally understand. I would love to have someone special in my life, too. But while I don’t, I know how to be very okay with being alone and really do the things I love to enjoy myself. And I don’t hide in my house either. I get dressed up and do my hair and and make-up, paint my nails, etc. — all the girly things you do when you are feeling in love and wanting to present your best side to someone special. And, then, I go out and have a good time doing whatever I want to. It makes me feel so great and I come home feeling like I had a good morning, afternoon, or evening. Thank you for your comment.

      January 26, 2011 at 6:06 am

  128. I’m a little envious of your donut shop….

    Nice blog! That’s a really interesting and well said observation – it seems like a little thing, but really, eating out alone is a big deal.

    I’ve come to consider a person’s willingness to eat out alone as a sign of their degree of comfort in their own skin. I admire people who do the things they like without dragging others along for support.

    I was always avoidant about eating out alone, and still will avoid busy times and restaurants I’m unfamiliar with to avoid the awkwardness.

    But, I’ve come to look forward to eating out alone – I seem to be able to focus better when I get out of my own too familiar space.

    I totally agree with you about people learning to be alone before becoming half of a couple. It’s really draining to be a happily alone person saddled with the burden of keeping a hates to be alone person company all the time.

    AND how lonely it is to be in a bad marriage – WAY lonelier than being alone.

    This idea will stay with me all morning – I may just have to go out to breakfast by myself!

    January 26, 2011 at 6:09 am

    • I agree with the comment about the degree of being comfortable in your own skin and the relationship to eating out alone. I also think that the older you get, the more you become that way. It’s such a nice thing to feel that way, too. Oh, and that donut shop is really a treat! Thanks for your wonderful comment. Hope you enjoy your breakfast!

      January 26, 2011 at 8:51 am

  129. What an excellent post to read to start my day out. It has given me a lot to think about. I don’t regret the time between moving out of my childhood home and getting married a few years later. I found that the company of a good book, a great movie and a loving and supportive church made up for times when I did feel lonely and though I wouldn’t trade my marriage for anything, we both still like our quiet time to ourselves. Thank you for putting it in such a clear perspective.
    Michael

    January 26, 2011 at 6:21 am

    • I’m glad you didn’t misunderstand what I was saying. A good marriage is a wonderful thing. And if you can still each have your alone time (and still feel together, which is really great!) and respect that, then you have something special, in my opinion. Thank you so much for reading. I really liked your comment.

      January 26, 2011 at 8:54 am

  130. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

    I could not agree more. I’ve always been a bit a loner and am very comfortable alone. I like company to, but I prefer being alone most of the time. I eat by myself a lot, go to the mall alone sometimes and it’s fun. And I get pitying looks here and there. I ignore them.

    Nothing is more lonely than being in a marriage that lacks emotional intimacy. So many guys, and I’m being general here, don’t really understand the need for emotional intimacy. Then the wife feels like a house keeper with benefits. Not real uplifting. I’m very lucky and my husband really puts effort into giving me what I need when I explain my needs to him. But he’s one in a million. ^_^

    January 26, 2011 at 6:35 am

    • I think men can feel that way, too. If a man is the sole breadwinner and he works his rear end off all day and comes home to a wife that just continually is needy of him without giving him some space to unwind and rejuvinate before asking him to complete a list of chores or bombarding him with all the things that she wants, he can feel drained and used and like nothing more than a paycheck. It’s really a two-way street and finding a balance can be difficult. Everyone’s needs have to be met. Sacrifices have to be made at times, and everyone has to take a back seat once in a while. No one should ever have to feel lonely in a marriage, though.

      You are, indeed, lucky if you can talk things out with your husband and his needs are getting met as well. Thanks you for taking the time to read and comment.

      January 26, 2011 at 9:02 am

  131. Thanks for sharing your story. Being alone doesn’t mean lonely. Sometimes I am in a big group of people yet feel more alone than I am on my own. For anyone who has never dine alone, try it. For something bigger, go travel alone. Do it and you will be a changed person. Liberating! I don’t feel so afraid now to be on my own. Life has its endearing moments when least expected. Love the pictures, rtcrita. 🙂

    January 26, 2011 at 7:06 am

    • Traveling alone is something I want to do, having not done it in a very long time. But where you plan a vacation and not just for business, which is what I did before. I will do that someday, I hope. Thank you for taking the time to comment.

      January 26, 2011 at 9:15 am

  132. Great post. As a single guy, I often have to make the distinction to others between being alone and being lonely. Great to read that someone feels the same way I do on the matter.

    January 26, 2011 at 7:27 am

    • There are many that feel like we do. It’s kind of nice to know that, isn’t it? Thanks for stopping by.

      January 26, 2011 at 7:34 am

  133. ysma

    thanks for the enlightenment! ^_^

    January 26, 2011 at 7:37 am

    • You’re welcome. Thanks for reading.

      January 26, 2011 at 8:07 am

  134. Jim

    There’s definitely a difference between solitude and loneliness! It’s the busiest people who enjoy their solitude, probably because so much is asked of them. Smart to let your daughter have her time.

    I remember when I was interviewing at a medical school in a particularly slow area. I didn’t know a soul, and was really turned off by the hotel “restaurant” – wound up taking a cab to the nearest eatery(an Applebees) and enjoyed a meal alone. It was slightly awkward because I was seated near the entrance at a table large enough for 4.

    January 26, 2011 at 7:44 am

    • Yes, that would be awkward. I’ve learned to ask for a small table or a booth. Although, there was one time when I had to sit at a table right in the middle of everyone. But since there was no where else to sit, I put on my confidence armor and made the best of it! It would have been more embarrassing to turn and run. 🙂 Thanks for your comment. Come back anytime.

      January 26, 2011 at 8:13 am

  135. Thanks for illustrating “an obvious” – for me at least. Always enjoyed alone time, be it on the road or at home (which is very, very, very rare indeed). Never had a problem doing some things – like dining out – by myself, but also activities like golf that I enjoy. Friends seem to think it weird for some reason. Why, I have no idea.

    Great post.
    Thanks!

    January 26, 2011 at 8:13 am

    • I would have never thought anyone would think golf would be weird to do alone. It seems like the perfect sport to do alone, actually. All that walking, making for the perfect time for thinking and just being in the moment of so much space and greenness. I don’t golf, but would love to learn how someday. Thank you for your comment.

      January 26, 2011 at 8:17 am

  136. I actually miss time alone. I have a wonderful husband and daughter, but sometimes I just need a break, just for me. I used to eat out alone, go to the movies alone, but if I do that now my husband and/or daughter would definitely feel left out. I truly enjoy when the two of them go away for the weekend occasionally or just a hockey game and leave me in the quiet house all alone.

    January 26, 2011 at 8:15 am

    • I think it is hard for some to not take it personal when you want to spend some time alone. I was just saying that I realized that myself after becoming a single parent and working 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I would come home and need some space of my own. It made me realize what my ex-husband must have needed when he came home after a hard days work. I would sometimes take it personal when he didn’t feel like immediately engaging me in conversation after I had been home all day with the kids and chores. I even give my kids their alone time now, especially that they are older, and they respect my alone time. It’s nice when we are all on the same wave length. We can all be in the same house in our own rooms, doing our own thing, yet feel very connected and available to each other if needed.

      I really like to work out in the yard in the spring and summer because it gives me my much needed alone time. It always makes me feel so refreshed and renewed in my soul. I guess it’s the dirt and the sweat and nature. Kids don’t usually want to hang around you for too long when you’re doing what seems like work to them. They will run off and play somewhere else. Even if they’re in the yard while you work, they’re usually not in your immediate space. Or they tire and go inside, leaving you alone to think and just be.

      Thanks for your comment.

      January 26, 2011 at 8:26 am

  137. I love being alone – my alone time is something I treasure. It is true that you can be in a relationship and still feel very lonely. And you can be alone and not feel lonely at all.

    Beautiful post. Thank you!

    January 26, 2011 at 8:32 am

    • Yes, it is. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      January 26, 2011 at 8:37 am

  138. When I was young, I thought I was lonely for eating out alone. After many years, I finally realised that I am not lonely because I enjoy it. I enjoy using the time to reflect back and to look at the world around me.

    Great post! Thank you!

    January 26, 2011 at 9:41 am

    • I’m glad you came to that realization. And it also goes to show that setting your mind to a different perspective can change your whole outlook on how you feel about something. You changed a seemingly negative into something positive by simply looking at the good things about being alone. Thank you for you comment.

      January 26, 2011 at 9:49 am

  139. I love eating alone. I have a husband and 3 children that takes up most of my time and fills my days with activity and noise. To eat alone is a special treat for me, I enjoy the peace and quiet.

    January 26, 2011 at 9:42 am

    • I have lived that life. I was always grateful to just to be able to sit down before my food got cold and before a little one could ask for seconds before I even got two bites of my own meal. Glad you can find the time to have some much needed alone time. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

      January 26, 2011 at 9:52 am

  140. Your blog was very moving. I’m a bit older, but my generation of friends often experienced similar feelings. Networking with friends was and is so important too. I’m pleased to see that you have such an open view of life in general and are not “afraid” to be alone. I know that people pressure themselves into relationships including marriage because of that fear. So you are doing a great service for so many of us!

    January 26, 2011 at 9:58 am

    • I really appreciate your comment. These are things I would and do say to my own children. And if you have children, you know that sometimes they do not want to listen to your advice because they think they know it all when they reach those teenage years. But, I also know that many things my mother taught me were things I initially brushed off but have come up later in my own life and were, at that time, put to good use. Thank you for stopping here to read. I truly hope you come back again.

      January 26, 2011 at 10:05 am

      • I am so impressed with you! The time you have taken to respond to each individual comment. I do not have children myself, but I have a number of friends around your age and I treasure their friendships. It is interesting how suddenly you become part of the “older” generation and find yourself in the position of your parents and grandparents. Although, I generally prefer not to divide us into generations, but I guess it is part of life. One of my mentors was a 80 year old community activist (born in 1905) who was ageless!

        Sometime, when you get a chance, take a look at my arts website.

        Joan

        January 28, 2011 at 11:18 am

      • I know what you mean about becoming part of the “older” generation. My own children make me feel this way because they are older teens — one going to college, one on the way — and they have their own group of friends that see everything we parents do as “out of touch.” But, I remember thinking the same thing about my own parents. It all comes back to you when you get older and you see the truth, as it will to them when they get out on their own and have children of their own, so I don’t let it bother me too much. I actually find it kind of funny, because I know the laugh is on them when they discover that the things their “dear old mom” said to them were true after all!

        I did a quick peek at your site, I’ve been so busy trying to catch up on other things since my 15 minutes of fame has died down a bit. I have the intention of visiting everyone’s site that visited mine, as I always do on my other posts as well. It’s just going to take me a while. And this weekend looks busy already here at home, and then there’s the next post to worry about… so there you go! I will go back and take a longer look as soon as the time allows. I’m so glad you visited here. Thanks!

        January 28, 2011 at 11:41 am

  141. I just commented. Hope you got it, because I accidently duplicated it.

    Thanks again for your wonderful blog.

    January 26, 2011 at 10:02 am

    • I did get it. Thanks again.

      January 26, 2011 at 10:35 am

  142. Great post! I spend alot of time alone and I LOVE IT. I take myself on little dinner dates all the time and it’s just great. Sometimes I strike up a conversation with people around me and sometimes I just enjoy a book or my own thoughts. Blissful! -SG

    January 26, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    • That’s great that you don’t feel any stigma being out alone and can be comfortable with yourself. And your another reading eater! Thanks for commenting.

      January 26, 2011 at 12:09 pm

  143. When I worked as a pharmaceutical rep I ate out alone all the time. I really enjoyed doing it. However, I think there is a difference between eating out alone for lunch and for dinner. I’ve never done the latter but am not opposed to it. Now how about a movie alone? My husband does this all the time!

    January 26, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    • A lot of people seem to agree with you. They can eat lunch alone, but not dinner in the evening. Also, there seems to be those that can eat alone, but not do the movie theater alone thing. I guess it’s different degrees of being uncomfortable being seen alone out in public and perceived as some kind of “lonely loser” that make people able to do these things or not. It’s really been interesting reading everyone’s comments and makes me want to know what a professional would say about this. Thanks for your comment.

      January 26, 2011 at 5:25 pm

  144. Pingback: Can You Eat Out Alone? « Pernelson

  145. I can relate so well to this…I felt so much lonelier in my bad marriage then now. I do enjoy being alone and have never eaten out by myself but I think I just might do that!

    January 26, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    • I’m glad that you are now in a better situation. I hope that you do find you can muster all the confidence you have and treat yourself to a wonderful time out eating a delicious dinner at a favorite restaurant and realize that you are a strong, confident, and independent person! Thank your for sharing and commenting.

      January 26, 2011 at 5:30 pm

  146. I think it’s easier being alone these days in public places because we have our iphones, laptops or whatever to keep us being busy so we don’t look so awkward doing nothing. It’s harder if you are just sitting there with a cup of coffee observing than busy checking your emails or making a phone call. Sadly.

    January 26, 2011 at 4:14 pm

    • Hmmm…. I think that I agree with you that people use those things as a cructh, sometimes, for being able to avoid learning how to be comfortable with themselves when they are alone in public. I mean, it’s certainly okay to use these devices when you are in actual need of them. But, there is nothing wrong with just sitting and observing, thinking, making mental plans about something. I’ve certainly seen many couples out eating just sitting not even talking to each other and they look pretty awkward to me. Thanks so much for your comment.

      January 26, 2011 at 5:35 pm

  147. peachmangopie1983

    being alone once in a while is indeed healthy…

    January 27, 2011 at 1:36 am

    • I certainly think so, too. Thanks for your comment.

      January 27, 2011 at 2:06 am

  148. Your blog is significant. I’m impressed.
    I have two younger children. So I can’t go alone. If I can have much time, I will enjoy read books, watch a movie and think about myself.

    January 27, 2011 at 7:50 am

    • Yes, it is hard to find alone time when you have little ones at home. I am glad you can still find some time alone. Thank you for your comment.

      January 27, 2011 at 8:11 am

  149. Pingback: Can You Eat Out Alone? (via rtcrita's blog) « My Blog

  150. Really enjoyed reading your post! Thanks for sharing! I totally understand what you mean by the differences of the two terms, many of my friends would think they’re the same. I think it’s time I spend more time with “me” too.

    January 28, 2011 at 3:48 am

    • Enjoy your “me” time! Thanks for commenting.

      January 28, 2011 at 8:36 am

  151. Holy cow! I had to do some scrolling to get here.

    Being able to go out alone means you’re comfortable in your own skin. It’s a sign of self-assuredness.

    Great post, Rita…. Off to get some hot chocolate with whip cream now.

    Cheers!

    January 28, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    • Hope you didn’t get a cramp in your fingers! 🙂

      Yes, being comortable in your own skin is a very good way to put it.

      Enjoy your hot chocolate! Thanks for reading and commenting, Jenny. I’ll be heading over to your blog soon to check out your latest adventures with the little Beans!

      January 28, 2011 at 10:23 pm

  152. iangappie

    i just totally agree when you said that everyone needs to learn how to be alone. i would like to share how i feel with you, if you don’t mind. well, i have this friend of mine, she’s a year older than me, and we live in the same dormitory, and we a re classmates. so the situation is like this, i think she’s just a little too dependent on me. when we go to class, it has to be that we go together, we go home together, and if i am not yet going back to the dormitory, she obliges me to take her across the street, i have to accompany her when she does her grocery, and even when she has to buy a dress or shoes; even if i’m there just to be with her, cause i can’t give her advices whether something looks good on her or not, i’m not into fashion. and sometimes, i am even the one to decide for her. i don’t if it’s just me or not, but she really starts to be a pain in the neck.
    there, i got to express my feelings. thank you! 🙂 i am looking forward to read more of your blogs. :]

    January 29, 2011 at 11:03 am

    • Maybe she is just lacking in a little self-confidence and/or feels safer to have a friend to go places with her. But if it’s making you feel pushed to your limits, maybe you need to learn how to politely say, “Sorry, but I can’t go with you today . I have other things I need to do.” You sound like someone that wants to be a good friend, maybe to the point of being taken advantage of, but that you might need to learn how to say “no” without feeling like you are being a bad person for doing so.

      I’m glad that you can have your own alone time to relax. It’s so important when you are going to school with all the pressures of trying to do well. I know my own daughter experiences this on a daily basis with a job and other functions she is obliged to attend in addition to trying to find time to study properly.

      I hope you find a way to let your friend know that you can’t always be at her beck and call everytime she needs you for an outing, because you need to take care of you, too. Good luck to you and thanks for commenting.

      January 29, 2011 at 11:26 am

      • iangappie

        thank you for your wonderful advice! 🙂 yes, i’ll try my best to find the right way to tell my friend that. i really appreciate you. i mean, your replying to the comments in your blog, trying to help others and sharing your thoughts. i love people like that. i think they are people i can listen to all day. 🙂

        January 30, 2011 at 7:38 am

  153. I really loved reading your blog.

    I am one of those, who dont like to eat alone when going out. but when at home, i love to eat alone.

    and when im out having icecream, eating alone is a better option 😀 because then i dont have to share it with anyone, and i can walk and eat at the same time and look at shop displays and watch people.

    January 30, 2011 at 6:45 am

    • I’m so glad you enjoyed my blog, and thank you for commenting.

      Your ice cream example made me happy and sounds perfect!

      January 30, 2011 at 9:14 am

  154. hi am back again. your good at listening-reading people, so thought i would recommend to you to try out some recipes at my blog. they were really good to me when i ate alone before i got the family, and are still good for the whole clan now! go to goodhomekeeping.wordpress.com

    you will love trying them out. they are so simple and cheap to prepare

    January 31, 2011 at 4:10 am

    • Thank you, goodhomekeeping. I did take a look and might have to try that avocado shake recipe because I really like avocados!

      January 31, 2011 at 5:41 am

  155. Great article! I’m an avid reader, so alone time is very important to me. I’m glad to see there are others out there that share my view… at one point I began to think that maybe there was something wrong with me for wanting to be alone.

    January 31, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    • There is definitely nothing wrong with you for wanting to be alone at times. …and plenty of others do feel the same as you! Thanks for stopping by and reading.

      January 31, 2011 at 1:11 pm

  156. Thanks for sharing these wonderful images.

    February 1, 2011 at 3:47 am

  157. You certainly have handled your fifteen minutes of fame well!
    And I expect at least another fifteen for you soon!

    In our e-mails we discussed the differences in the generations.
    You would think by now, the gap would have narrowed a bit. Yet, the cycle of life continues in much the same way. Or then does it?
    Imagine the level of communication between Victorian parents and their children.

    Thanks for taking time to look at my website. It is appreciated. I can imagine how busy you have been answering every e-mail!

    I guess of American artists, Edward Hopper captures the essence of loneliness (although he apparently enjoyed being alone). One of my Indian (East) artist friends once said that Hopper summed up the isolation he felt when living in the United States. He eventually returned to India—he missed the society of his colleagues and friends—but he did create a large number of paintings while he was here.

    Take care.

    Joan

    February 1, 2011 at 1:23 pm

  158. So very true…

    You’ll never really be able to enjoy a relationship if you can’t enjoy your own company first. So many people are scared to eat out alone or go to a movie alone…but really…it’s so refreshing. You feel like you can take on the world if you can sit at a nice dinner and enjoy the beating of your own heart.

    Wonderful post.

    February 10, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    • That feeling that “you can take on the world” is exactly what I love about doing those things alone, too! It builds your self-confidence, for sure. Thanks for stopping and reading.

      February 10, 2011 at 9:34 pm

  159. This was a rather interesting read. Personally, I don’t like to dine alone at a sit-down restaurant. I prefer being with someone to talk to whilst I enjoy whatever is in front of me. However, I do not mind heading to a McDonalds and sitting down for a meal. Even better–sitting at a Starbucks with a mocha and maybe a sandwich while blogging on my laptop or my Android-enabled phone. Believe me, if there was a coffee place open at 4:00am, I’d be there right now, lol.

    February 20, 2011 at 4:01 am

    • Hi, Joe. Thanks for reading and for your comment. Sounds like you’re a night owl. Why don’t they make places that stay open all night (besides a Denny’s) for people like us? I sometimes find myself up way into the early morning hours myself.

      I like the title of your blog and the quote that goes along with it. Please, come back anytime.

      February 20, 2011 at 10:29 am

  160. I love eating out alone. For me its meditative, almost like mowing the lawn. Now, this is not to say that I shun company, I love eating with other people too, but a quiet lunch or breakfast, and even on occasion a dinner, by oneself is amazingly relaxing.

    March 6, 2011 at 7:21 pm

    • gahh, i made a small correction and somehow managed to post both versions, sorry about that.

      March 6, 2011 at 7:24 pm

      • Don’t worry, I caught it. Isn’t it great that you can “approve” comments before posting them so you can catch flub-ups like that? 🙂

        March 7, 2011 at 9:20 am

    • I agree.

      March 7, 2011 at 9:15 am

  161. I write a comment when I especially enjoy a post on a blog or if I have something
    to contribute to the discussion. It’s caused by the sincerness communicated in the post I looked at. And on this article Can You Eat Out Alone? rtcrita’s blog.
    I was excited enough to post a comment 🙂 I do have 2
    questions for you if you don’t mind. Could it be only me or do some of the remarks appear as if they are coming from brain dead folks? 😛 And, if you are posting at other sites, I’d like to follow everything
    new you have to post. Would you list the complete urls of all your
    shared sites like your Facebook page, twitter feed, or linkedin
    profile?

    December 10, 2012 at 3:58 pm

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